That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Mom said you looked used
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
