When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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