We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
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I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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