dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
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I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dick is healthier for you than green beans