She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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