I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
