I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
