and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
