She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
