i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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