This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
