TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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