and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
