There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
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he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
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L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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