part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
