I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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