I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
