he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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