If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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