so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
