i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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