she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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