How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
this will be a night to untag.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
