sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
