You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize