Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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