taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
