so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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