Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
