so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
