I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
