Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
