I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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