somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
