whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
