I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
