I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize