it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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