No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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