Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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