I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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