so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
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My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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