margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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