I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
