After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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