ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well I just put wine in my tea
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
