He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
