Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
