There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
