Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
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I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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