it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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