Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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