i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
