are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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