My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
