My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
