my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize